I am very proud to call myself British, but fiercely proud to be Scottish. Never more so than when a day comes around that celebrates haggis. Then my friends, you can pipe me in, call me jock and bathe me in Irn Bru! And before you think I’m taking auld Rabbie Burns name in vain, I know Burns’ night is to celebrate the late great poet, but I won’t lie to you, it’s all about the haggis for me (I even had one of his readings at my wedding if that helps?)
You can imagine my dismay at the thought that cavemen didn’t eat haggis. I know, how the hell did they cope?! So no haggis, neeps and tatties for me tonight! Which is probably for the best, according to a Jamie Oliver recipe that I found, for haggis, neeps and tatties, the total calories per serving was 527! I can only assume he has based that on a modest portion, a portion for his sparrow friend, or his teeny tiny wife, and not on the average portion on people’s plates this evening. Not even the gruelling Insanity session this evening would have made that ok!
Actual photo of a 527 calorie Burns supper.
As I won’t have the gift of haggis in my life tonight, I thought I would gift you a wee poem. My wee nod to Rabbie:
O my shred is like a tough, tough beast,
That’s newly sprung in Jan.
O my shred is like a healthy thing,
And I’ve lifted, burpeed and ran.
As fair art thou, my brocolli mash,
So deep in luve am I;
And I will luve thee still, my mash,
Although I miss a pie.
Oh I do miss a pie, my dear,
But these new recipes are fun;
And I will always luve the carbs, my dear,
But now I eat avacado by the ton.
So fare-thee-weel, my extra tyre!
And fare-thee-weel, my podge!
And if you come again, you bitch,
You’ll feel the wrath of my guns!
Shout out to Sophs (little shred sister) for the ease with which she rhymed I and pie! And while I couldn’t gorge myself in haggis and whisky sauce, I did have an awesome dinner of Bette’s (shred Mum) famous sausage casserole with some buttery broccoli mash….but it wasn’t haggis!
“Firmness in enduring and exertion is a character I always wish to possess. I have always despised the whining yelp of complaint and cowardly resolve.” – Robert Burns